FATHER'S DAY OBSERVATION

     For forty years I had the pleasure of being a pastor in a congregation. Every May we had a recognition of Mother's Day.  Over the course of those forty years there grew up a real divide.  There was the focus at the beginning on giving thanks for the mother you had.  Everybody had a mother and everybody could participate. (This ignored the whole question of those whose mothers were cruel, abandoned or somehow unworthy of gratitude)  But everybody had a mother, and so Mother's Day was a day in which all people could participate.

     Slowly there came the equal focus in many services to recognize all those who were mothers. If you had had children you were singled out, lifted up and recognized.  This became a moment of pain and sorrow for all the women who had not had a child. For many of the single women who had not had a child were excluded.  All the barren wives were excluded. All the men were excluded. It'd was a moment when all those who were mothers were recognized and a moment that gave pain and sorrow to many of the women who had never had a child.

     In my own comments, I attempted to focus only on the fact that we all had mothers and were were, on this day, recognizing and giving thanks for the mothers we had. But that did not stop the officers, deacons and the ushers from giving flowers only to those who were mothers. Another slight to those who had not had children.

     When it came to June and we had Fathers's Day, the focus was on recognizing and honoring the feathers that we had. We were, again, all able to participate because we all have a father (again ignoring the fact that many fathers had refused to be named on the birth certificate, had walked out on the family, had refused child support, or been surrogate sperm donor) The liturgy and the talk was about honoring your father.

     In my forty years of ministry, the day never developed the movement to recognize all those who were dads and to have the men who were fathers stand and be recognized.  I have not heard of any young man complaining about being left out or ignored on Father's day because they have not become a father.

     I have been retired now for over eight years so there may have been changing in the way Father's day is now celebrated and recognized, but I always thought it was interesting how the two celebrations were described.