Lessons Retold

Recently I had an opportunity to return to a previous congregation I had served as Pastor for a Supply preaching assignment. They have an interim and he was on vacation and he invited me to come back to preach. One of the things I had hoped to do in retirement was to retrace some steps in my life and how things were in the places I have been. So this was a perfect opportunity.

It turned out to be a real reminder of what are the important things in ministry. Nothing that was said or done was new, but in the brief span of one day of worship with that congregation, I got a very clear reminder of what is at the very heart of a good pastoral relationship. I am not sure how it fits in with theology of ministry, but I heard the demand from two very distinct directions. The members of a congregation what to know that God is concerned about them and they want to know that the minister is attuned to their lives.

At the lunch table after worship there was much talk about the church and its ministers. They have had several since I left. The consistent complaint was that the minister did not show any interest or concern for the members. In previous ages it was about the minister visiting personally at the homes, but they were not that focused, A phone, an email, a post card, a thank you note, a brief conversation at the Post Office, "Hi, how is the family? Has Mary's cancer responded to the treatment?" would have been enough. Visits are still expected at critical times, but the complaint was that the ministers were not aware or attuned to when those critical times happened.

I remember once in my training that a minister observed that he found his brief time at the door after worship to be a great sounding opportunity. As the congregation came to shake hands his subconscious would remind him of who was absent. As they came by he could ask a brief question to see if the husband had a job yet, or the baby had gotten a tooth, or something. As they came buy, he could look at them and see if they looked well. At the back door was a great place to get signals that would need to be followed up. Monday he could call on the phone or in person on all those whose absence worried him. A new cane or walker would be another sign for some attention. When a member asked the minister how was another member she expected him to have more current information than she did.

But it was not only in the conversation. At the contemporary worship service that evening which consisted of six songs done by a praise band with the congregation of about 20 singing when they knew the songs and a sermon all of the praise music was focused on Jesus and his love for "me". The focus of the theology of the songs is what a Great God who loves me, who saved me, who suffered for me. Jesus and I have a personal relationship. The songs were not written by local singers so this emphasis must have a larger following. The hunger is for Jesus to know and love "me." "For God so loved the world" may be true, but that is not the important piece. "The Whole world groans and waits the revelation" is okay, but Jesus saves "me."

Both events indicated that the people in a congregation are hungry to know that Jesus and his servant the minister love "me", pay attention to "me", care what happens to "me".

Certainly one can respond that this is a self-centered selfishness that ought not to be encouraged, but I am only reporting what was said and why this congregation has fallen to less than 300 members from a high of about 700. People have left because they did not believe that the pastors cared about them. They were not told that Jesus loves them. Obviously, a social justice theology talks about systems and agencies and groups and programs. Such a gospel maybe true but it is not directed at scratching the itch that these two events suggest is primary to a pastoral relationship with the congregation. The mega churches claim to be high touch and high demand certainly has half of it right as people want to be "high touched."