Do we ever listen to ourselves?

Sitting in the congregation of a Holy Week Service, being the one who listened instead of speaking, I had to marvel at the patience of the people in the pews. Or the deafness of the people in the pews. Or maybe it is the hope of the people in the pews. But it was amazing to me to listen to what we sang and said.

The first hymn was When I Survey the Wondrous Cross, on which the Prince of Glory die, my richest gain I count but lost, .... And yet I am not sure that in these economic times any of us would be willing to lose our jobs or homes or car or 401(k) for our Christian faith. Think about George Beverly Shea singing "I would rather have Jesus, than silver or gold..." and yet I suspect that when push came to pull that would not be the choice many of us could make. I am not sure I could go all the way with that.

The next piece of music was "Jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world, red, and yellow, black and white, they are precious in his sight, Jesus loves the little children of the world." Oh, Muslim children? Hispanic children who are born here by illegal immigrants? Gay children (gays had to be born sometime), children in our welfare system? African children? And then if that statement is true does it mean that Jesus' death on the cross brought salvation to all those children too? Does that song suggest universalism? Do we really listen to what we sing.

The last hymn was "My Jesus I love Thee, I know thou art Mine..." My first encounter with this kind of language was when Paul Scherer, one of my heroes, said "Hogwash, Blessed Assurance Jesus is Mine, is a heresy, Blessed Disturbance, we are His." Jesus is not ours. If there is any hope it is in our being His. He claims us as his children, not that we "own" him.

This same confusion was told to a friend of mine who has a mountain of difficulties she is living through. Her friend told her that she was in the midst of a great battle between God and Satan, and She would have to be strong, keep the faith, to make sure that God won. So the great hope of God's victory of death and evil is now resting on the shoulders of my friend and if she does not "keep the faith" God will lose to Satan. Who wants that kind of God? If my friend has any hope it is that God will stay faithful to her while she rages in pain, doubt and frustration at the life she has been given.

Perhaps it is a sign of the patience and love of God that He will allow so many confusing and contradictory to be said about him by his friends. No wonder some people have so much trouble with the question of faith.